


So This is What It's Like

by whatadudeman



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Porn With Plot, Romance, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-25 10:17:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1645133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatadudeman/pseuds/whatadudeman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the Straight Boy Curse. They want you and then they don’t. Zayn knows that. And yet he can’t help but fall for Harry.<br/>Or the one where Harry thought he was straight until a suggestion from Louis makes him a Zaynsexual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Show Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for checking this out. Find me on [Tumblr](http://styleslovesmalik.tumblr.com)!

Zayn rubs at one eye as he answers his phone. He doesn’t want to pick it up, not at this ungodly hour, but he does on the off chance (who is he kidding its never an off chance) that it’ll be Harry on the other line. He can’t even force his lips to form the word hello so he just hums. 

"Zayn?" Harry asks on the other line. "So sorry to wake you," he apologizes immediately. "but can I come to yours? I’m walking back from George’s and you know yours is closer than mine." 

George’s is a pub that Harry and Zayn frequent. It’s the pub where Niall introduced them two years ago. 

"Yeah," Zayn says. "That’s fine." 

He leaves the phone on his pillow and goes to see that the door is unlocked for when Harry drunkenly stumbles in like he has so many times before. Zayn also goes to get a glass of water for the bedside table, in case Harry is really dehydrated from his night out. He hates that he thinks of little things like that, but it’s Harry and that’s just how his mind is about him. 

Zayn gets back into bed and a few minutes later he hears the familiar sounds of Harry. He hears as the boy kicks off his shoes, throw his jacket to the couch, and- (as always) hits his hip into the table Zayn has in the hall that leads to his bedroom. 

"Zayn?" Harry asks as he appears in the doorway. "Are you still awake?" 

It’s dark in the room and Zayn can’t see him too well because he’s backlit from the light in the hall, but he can imagine how wide his eyes are and how his pretty pink lips hang open as he waits for a response. “Yeah, come on,” Zayn says. He pulls back the covers on the side of the bed Harry likes to sleep in and pats the mattress. 

Harry quickly gets rid of his trousers and gets into the bed. Zayn swears he can see his smile even though he can’t really see much at that moment. 

"How was George’s?" Zayn asks him. 

Harry sighs as he sits up against the headboard. “I was supposed to meet Cara,” he starts. Zayn nods. “But when she showed she barely gave me two minutes of her time,” he complains. “She kissed me and we talked for a little while, about how she was worried she wouldn’t get the acting gig she wanted, and that was it. It was almost like I didn’t say the right thing in that moment because like I said, the rest of the night it was like I wasn’t even there.” 

Zayn isn’t the best with comforting people, something Harry is aware of, but he tries. He rubs at Harry’s shoulder softly. “I know you really liked her,” he says. “I’m sorry she was like that to you.” 

Harry nods. He absentmindedly lets his hand rest on Zayn’s thigh under the covers. “I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me,” he says. 

Zayn wants to tell him that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. Harry is the most warm and kind person he knows. But Zayn opts for the safer option and asks, “What do you mean?” 

Harry throws his hands up as if in defeat. “Nobody ever chooses me,” he claims. “Girls, they always act like they’re interested and then the next minute they’re not. I would really like it if someone just chose me for once.” 

Zayn bites his lip and looks sadly at Harry in the dim light. He knows that if Louis were there in that moment he would say that Zayn’s doing it again- looking at Harry in that lovesick way that is never meant for your straight friends. Because thats what Harry is, he’s straight. Wishing for anything more than friendship with him would get him his feelings hurt and jealous over nothing, something Louis has warned him about a few hundred times. 

"Hey," Harry says as he puts his hand back on Zayn’s thigh, "what are you thinking about?" 

You, Zayn wants to tell him. It’s you. Always you. But Zayn shakes his head again before he speaks. “Sorry. It was nothing. I’m just tired.” 

Harry nods. “Let’s go to bed,” he says. Harry flips to his side and moves over to Zayn’s side of the bed, as he always does. Zayn gives him all the space in the world and Harry still has to be right next to him. Harry slides his arms around Zayn and pulls him into his broad chest, closing his eyes against Zayn’s pillow. Zayn thinks that Harry Styles will be the death of him. 

The next morning Zayn is wide awake at nine, something that is a rare occurrence. He’s lying on his back now but Harry is still wrapped around him, breathing softly into the side of his chest. He deicides to wait it out and let Harry sleep in. But just as he settles in and is mindlessly running his fingers through Harry’s hair and thinking about the life they could have with a two bedroom flat and casual dinner parties on the weekends, Louis joins them. 

He stands in the doorway a minute, surveying the room before letting his eyes meet Zayn’s. Zayn immediately turns a bright pink and watches as a small smirk plays Louis lips. “Did you finally fuck him?” Louis mouths. Zayn shakes his head quickly. Louis rolls his eyes, the disappointment evident. Straight boys are all like that, he knows. They just tease. 

"What do you want?" Zayn whispers, trying his best to be quiet while also making his tone rude so Louis will leave. 

"I came to have tea with my best mate," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Zayn holds his finger up to his lips and gestures to Harry. Louis is having none of sleeping beauty, however. He quickly turns to the dresser and pushes the stack of books that are on one end swiftly off that end. Harry stirs immediately. His eyes slowly open and he shuts his mouth before wiping away a bit of his drool. He looks to Louis first. “Lou,” he says, voice groggy. “Hey.” 

Louis suddenly understands why Zayn is so obsessed with this guy. His voice is everything in the morning like this. And his bare chest? Hot as ever even if its covered in random little drawings and what not. “Hey Harry,” Louis says. “Have a nice sleep using Zayn as your pillow?” he asks with a smirk. 

Harry sits up then, looking to Zayn with a furrowed brow. “You don’t mind Zayn, do you?” 

The way his eyes have this look of intent and also show a bit of hurt kills Zayn. “I don’t mind,” Zayn tells him quickly. 

"Good," Louis comments. "Now that that is settled, I’ll be out in the living room. If tea isn’t brought to me in five to ten minutes, I will be very angry with you Malik." Harry and Zayn watch as Louis struts his way out of the room, shooting them a judgy side eye. 

Exactly eight minutes later, tea is brought out to Louis. Harry brings out the tray as Zayn comes in to join them, having struggled to find a clean pair of sweats to put on after he loaned his favorite pair to Harry. 

"So what are you doing here so early?" Zayn asks as he takes a seat opposite Louis. He hopes that Louis notices the undertone of annoyance in his voice because it was very much on purpose. Harry takes the seat next to him and hands him his cup off the tray. 

"I told you I was going to stop by this morning days ago," Louis claims. "We talked about it when I ran into you at the grocery." 

Zayn is quiet a minute, not wanting to admit that he had totally forgot. “I’m sorry,” Harry pipes up. “It’s my fault that Zayn was up so late last night.” He looks genuinely sorry and Zayn wants to hug him because Zayn’s forgetfulness is not his fault. 

"Let’s talk about that, actually," Louis suggests. Zayn looks to him with wide eyes, wondering where the hell he is going with that statement. He wants desperately to have a fit of restless leg syndrome and kick the tray of hot tea over on him, just so there is something to distract him. 

"Why the hell are you all up on Zayn like he’s one of those ridiculous boyfriend pillows that come with an arm so fat girls can feel less lonely?" 

Zayn is appalled at that question. He wonders how Louis can make a mean joke about fat girls so causally. Harry however, frowns. “Maybe it was a little inappropriate,” he says. “and I’m sorry Zayn.” 

Zayn wants to tell him that he has nothing to be sorry for. 

Harry then sets his cup down and turns to face Louis completely. “Last night I got blown off by the girl I’ve been sort of seeing. I came over here because I know that Zayn is always going to be there for me and I just really needed to tell someone about it.” 

Zayn can see Louis heart soften, even if Louis wants to hide it. “What happened?” he asks. 

"She acted like she wanted me and then just ignored me," Harry frowns again. 

Louis nods. “Girls are like that. Bitches.” 

Harry nods too. “I was having a moment of ‘why am I not good enough’ and I just really wanted my best friend.” Harry places his hand on Zayn’s knee and Zayn smiles all over. Louis wants to chop his hand off because excuse him, Zayn is his best friend. 

"Have you ever tried going for boys?" Louis asks. 

Harry is surprised at that question, sitting back a bit. “What?” It’s the first time Zayn has heard him be impolite and not say excuse me. 

Louis rolls his eyes before he says it really slowly, enunciating every syllable. “You need to try dick.” 

Zayn rolls his eyes at that. Harry doesn’t need dick. Well maybe not more than one dick. Maybe just his dick. He wonders when he became so pervy like Louis. 

"I don’t know," Harry tells him earnestly. "I don’t think I like guys." 

Louis perks up. “Fine, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it. If girls just aren’t working for you, maybe guys will. The worst thing it can do is gross you out and make you one hundred percent sure you like vagina.” 

Harry looks to Zayn for his advice. Zayn is frozen for a moment and isn’t sure what to say. “I think you should do whatever makes you happy, Harry.” 

"Of course he’s going to say that," Louis claims. "I tried to get him to kiss a girl once and he ran for the bathroom." 

"You’ve never?" Harry asks Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head. “I just know that’s not what I like.” 

"How do you know if you’ve never tried it?" Harry asks him, glancing at Louis too. 

Louis smirks at him. “Exactly,” he says. 

Harry nods, understanding Louis’ point. 

A few nights later Zayn has just gotten back from the gym and is freshly showered when Harry stops by. Zayn follows him as he goes to his bathroom and uses the hair gel that Zayn always has stocked on the shelf. “Going out?” Zayn asks him. 

Harry turns and looks to Zayn who is leaning against the door frame. He leans back against the counter before speaking. “Yeah, I’m gonna try heading out to Daft.” 

Zayn raises a brow at that. “Harry, you do know that Daft is a gay club, right?” 

Harry nods and he looks a little ashamed. “I know,” he says. “I think I’m going to take Louis’ advice.” 

"Oh," Zayn says, the word leaving his lips like you leave a party you never really wanted to go to, swiftly and as unnoticed as possible. 

But Harry notices. Because he notices those kind of things. He was born to notice them. “I just think that maybe he had a point,” he says. “How do I know I don’t like guys if I’ve never tried them?” 

Zayn nods. “Okay, fair enough. But what exactly is your plan?” He turns and walks back out to the living room, taking a seat on the couch, all the way keeping one eye on Harry. 

"I’m gonna kiss the first guy who gives me the time of day," Harry admits, sitting down next to him. His knees touch Zayn’s and it takes all of Zayn’s will power to not hold him down and tell him he can’t go because this gay guy has been noticing him since he met him. 

"And that is supposed to let you know if you’re gay, or maybe bi, a kiss with a complete stranger?" Zayn asks, skeptical. He doesn’t mean to sound rude but he kind of doesn’t want Harry to do it. And by kind of he means a lot, like absolutely no. 

"Zayn, can you please try to be supportive?" Harry asks, looking at him like all he wants in life is his approval. 

Zayn sighs, feeling badly. “Okay, I support you,” he says. “You figure things out the way you feel like you need to. Is that better?” 

Harry shrugs. “It’s a little better,” he says. “But there’s also just one more thing.” 

"What?" Zayn asks. 

Harry bites his lip, looking a little bit embarrassed to say it. “I don’t know how to kiss a guy,” he says. 

"What do you mean you don’t know?" Zayn asks. "It’s the same as kissing a girl. Us gays don’t kiss in a different way." 

"It’s not that it’s a gay guy, Zayn. It’s that it’s a guy in general. I don’t know what they like or how to touch their face- any of that. And how can you say its like kissing a girl when you’ve never kissed one?" 

Zayn wants so badly to tell him not to do it. Just cancel the whole thing and stay in watching movies with him. But Harry has a point. He can’t really relate it to kissing a girl because he’s never kissed a girl before. “I don’t know,” he sighs. “I just don’t think it makes a difference, girl or guy.” 

"Can you show me?" Harry asks him. 

Zayn blinks at him. “Excuse me?” he asks, suddenly remembering the manners he lost long ago. 

"Just show me how you kiss a guy," Harry says. 

Zayn shakes his head quickly, “No. Absolutely not.” 

"I know you’re a good kisser," Harry tells him. 

Zayn looks back to him, his brow furrowed. He wonders how Harry could know that. 

"I heard you once," Harry goes on. "It was when we were staying up north at Niall’s parent’s cabin. You were in the room next to mine and you brought some guy back from the club. He was moaning the whole night." 

Zayn wants to tell him that that was probably because he wasn’t kissing his mouth and rather other parts of his body, but decides to let it be. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

"Come on," Harry pleads. "You want to kiss me, don’t you? I mean- I’m a good looking guy, right?" 

Zayn wants to tell him that he is the best looking guy he’s ever seen. But then again Harry isn’t perfect. He has that extra bit of adorable baby fat on his hips, and sometimes his hands are really clumsy, and his feet are too cold when he rests them against yours.. and whoa, Zayn sure knows a lot about things he shouldn’t. 

He hasn’t said anything in a moment and Harry is still waiting, watching his face intently. “Fine,” Zayn finally says against his better judgment. “Kiss me.” 

"No," Harry says quickly. "You kiss me.” 

"You were the one that wanted to kiss a guy," Zayn tells him. He adds an eye roll for emphasis. 

"But you have to show me how first," Harry replies. "Please?" 

Zayn sighs. He turns so he can better face Harry. Harry lets a little smile cross his lips as Zayn’s hand rests against his cheek. Zayn then leans forward slowly, and holy shit this is everything he has ever wanted, and has a mini panic attack before their lips even touch. He’s closing the space between them slowly when Harry leans forward quickly and touches their lips together. Maybe that’s the problem, Harry always wanted fast and Zayn just couldn’t keep up. But now that their lips are slotted together, well thats a different story all together. Harry had leaned in with parted lips, something Zayn hadn’t anticipated. So Zayn accommodates and opens his too as they pull away for a brief second before going right back to it with a different angle. Zayn slips his tongue into Harry’s mouth for just a brief moment. And he thinks he’s imagining it but that in that brief moment Harry tried to kiss him with tongue too, as if to say ‘hey I’m not ready for you to go yet’. And maybe thats why now that Zayn has pulled away, Harry doesn’t look satisfied. 

"What?" Zayn asks him. 

Harry wipes his mouth before looking back to Zayn’s eyes. “Nothing, that was just really good.” 

"Don’t feel discouraged," Zayn smirks at him. "Not everyone can be this good at kissing." 

Harry rolls his eyes and smacks at Zayn’s arms. “Shut up,” he playfully laughs. 

When Harry takes off for the club, Zayn gives Louis a call. He yells at him for putting stupid ideas into Harry’s head and tells him everything that had happened. 

"So, you wanna go to Daft tonight or what?" Louis asks. 

"What the hell do you mean?" Zayn replies. "We can’t go to Daft. Harry is a Daft. Haven’t you listened to anything I just said?” 

"Yeah," Louis says. "I was listening to you talk about how you just let him walk out to go kiss some random guy." 

"I didn’t just let him walk out," Zayn claims. 

"Well you didn’t stop him," Louis tells him. "Get dressed and do that thing you do with your hair. I’ll be over in ten minutes and we’re going to Daft." 

Zayn sighs as Louis hangs up on him. 

Exactly ten minutes later Louis arrives and honks so Zayn will get his ass out the door. Zayn hurries to grab his coat and heads downstairs to meet him. When he gets into Louis’ car he looks to him with eyes that resemble a sad puppy dog’s and Louis knows he’s worried. 

"That’s what you get for falling in love with straight guys," Louis tells him. But he can’t really make it sound as sassy as it should be because he feels for Zayn, he really does. He is his best friend after all. So he leans over and wraps an arm around Zayn’s shoulder. "Idiot," he says before leaving a kiss on Zayn’s cheek. 

When they get to the club Zayn spots Harry almost immediately. He is standing by the bar, leaning against it lazily as he talks to the guy next to him. This guy is kind of tall, blonde, and is wearing a neon orange shirt. “Who the fuck wears neon orange?” Zayn asks, the disgust in his voice clear. 

Louis snickers at that. “I have never been more proud of you. It seems that you may have some of that style common sense that comes with being gay after all.” 

Zayn rolls his eyes. 

"Come on," Louis says as he grabs his forearm. "You can buy me a drink." 

"Why do I have to buy you a drink?” Zayn asks as he’s being pulled through the crowd. 

"Because I am a lady Malik, I never pay for my own drinks." 

Zayn rolls his eyes again as he leans against the bar with Louis. Louis orders them drinks and Zayn notices that Harry is still at the other end of the bar. He may or may not be staring a hole into the back of his head. 

Louis orders him a martini and Zayn gives him a look as if to say ‘really?’ Louis just smiles and sips his drink as he turns to face the room. Zayn knows that he’s searching the crowd for potential hookups and Zayn can’t even be bothered to do that. All he can thinks about is Harry at the other end of the bar with some guy who doesn’t know he’s been wearing the same jeans for the last week and that his heart tattoo matches the one Zayn has. And it makes him angry because he doesn’t want Harry to kiss him. Maybe kissing him will be better than kissing Zayn, or hanging out with Zayn, or just Zayn in general- and he doesn’t think he could bear the idea of Harry replacing him with someone else. 

"I want to go talk to him," Zayn tells Louis. 

"Why?" Louis asks. "So you can admit to stalking him down because you don’t want him to kiss some random guy? Because secretly you are scared shitless that he might pick that guy over you?" 

Zayn looks to Louis with wide eyes. Louis knows everything. Louis knows him so well. “I hate you,” Zayn claims. 

"Go talk to him, Malik. The worst thing that can happen is he tells you to buzz off home because he wants to get it in with this guy. Or he could ask you for a condom, that’s pretty bad too." 

Zayn rolls his eyes and leaves his empty glass on the bar. He’s going to go talk to Harry. He walks over and is surprised to see that neon orange shirt wearing guy is gone. Harry looks up from his glass when he feels him approaching and is surprised. “Zayn,” he smiles. “What are you doing here?” 

"Louis called last minute and wanted to come out tonight. Kind of a weird coincidence he chose the same club." He hopes his lies aren’t too obvious because he can feel himself start to stutter at the beauty of Harry’s eyes. 

"Well I’m glad you’re here," Harry smiles again. 

Zayn gives him a small smile too. “Did something happen?” 

Harry nods. “Yeah, it seems that every guy I talk to just isn’t interested. One of them, Mike I think his name was, even told me that he hated the way my lips looked when I talked.” 

That makes Zayn angry. “You’re lips look fucking great when you talk,” he says quickly. 

Harry furrows his brow as a small smile finds its way to his lips. “Thanks?” he questions with a laugh. 

"It’s true," Zayn laughs too. "So you didn’t kiss anyone?" 

"I did," Harry says. "This guy named Ricky. But I think he left by now." 

"How was it?" Zayn asks carefully. 

Harry shrugs. “It wasn’t that great,” he says honestly. “I don’t know if it was me or him though.” 

Him, Zayn wants to say. There’s nothing wrong with you or your lips. 

After a minute Harry lightly grasps Zayn’s hand. “Can you show me again?” he asks. 

Zayn doesn’t say anything. His eyes are too mesmerized by Harry’s lips, his face, everything. He leans forward almost immediately and shows Harry again. Only it appears that Harry might be showing him this time. Harry has his hands on Zayn’s hips as his tongue goes into Zayn’s mouth. Zayn has to pull away for a breath and when he does he swears he hears Harry breathe, “Your lips Zayn, your lips are everything.” 

Louis is on the dance floor, grinding crotches with some guy he doesn’t know and he’s getting a little bored. He takes a look around the room, for Zayn, when he spots them. Harry is laughing as their foreheads rest against each others, with both of their faces flushed pink. They’ve been kissing, Louis knows. They’ve been kissing and now they’re laughing. They are both so fucked he can’t even believe it. 

"Do you want to get out of here?" Harry asks him, his lips red and plump from their kisses. 

Zayn nods, giving him a small smile. “Yeah,” he says. “Let me just tell Louis we’re going.” 

Harry nods and lets Zayn’s hand go reluctantly. He watches him go and sighs. He wonders how he never noticed Zayn before, or the fact that he’s into him more than he wants to admit. 

Zayn finds Louis on the dance floor, making out with some guy he doesn’t know. “Hey,” he yells over the music, grabbing Louis’ shoulder. 

"This one’s mine, fuck off," the guy Louis is dancing with snaps. 

"Okay," Louis says, stepping back. He pushes at the guys shoulders and tells him to buzz off. "What’s up?" he asks Zayn. 

"You’re dick, for one." 

Louis looks down to see his boner and sighs. “What a waste,” he sighs. 

"Anyway," Zayn says. "Harry and I are gonna head out." 

Louis smirks. “I saw you kissing him,” he says. 

Zayn looks a bit hesitant. 

"Use protection," Louis smiles. He gives him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "I’m proud of you." 

Zayn beams, smiling so bright he could light the whole solar system. He goes back to Harry and Harry has just finished his drink. He smiles at him and quickly intertwines his fingers with Zayn’s. 

So this is what it’s like, Zayn thinks. This is what its like when you finally get what you’ve wanted for so long. And the fact that Harry has his lips near Zayn’s ear and is saying some positively filthy things, well that’s just a bonus really.


	2. Take Care of Me

The walk back to Zayn’s may have set a new record for being the slowest walk home from the bar yet. They kept stopping to kiss, hug, anything really. And sometimes Harry’s enormous, clumsy feet would trample Zayn’s but he didn’t care. It made Zayn smile endearingly at him, it made Zayn smile more in one night then he has in a really long time. 

Once they get to Zayn’s apartment he can barely get the door shut before Harry is slamming him up against it. Harry is all hands on his face and mouth hungrily sucking at his. Zayn can barely breathe and he thinks that he has never felt more alive in his life. Harry pulls his jacket off and stops for a second, to look at him. 

Zayn blinks, feeling the heavy stare and taking a slow breath in. “Beautiful,” Harry whispers. “Everything about you is so beautiful Zayn.” 

Zayn smiles before grabbing his face and kissing him again. Harry pulls him back, causing them to stumble as they make their way to his bedroom. Harry smashes his hip into the table as he always does, grunting. That makes Zayn laugh and he pulls away to grab Harry’s hand and pull him along. Once they’re in the bedroom, Harry tosses off his shirt and immediately undoes the button on his jeans. Zayn thinks that he’s moving so quickly, but lost time is lost time and it has to be made up. So Zayn gets rid of his clothes too. 

They’re both left with just their underwear as Harry moves to kiss Zayn again. He does so in such a tender and loving way that Zayn thinks he might cry because this is the way he’s pictured Harry kissing him for years. When Harry bites his lip before pulling back, he looks a little worried. “This is okay, Zayn- right?” Zayn nods, letting his mouth move to Harry’s neck. Harry sighs at the feeling of his tongue against his bare skin and moves his hand into the hair at the back of Zayn’s head to keep him there. Harry thinks that Zayn could be a vampire and suck him dry right then and he wouldn’t even care because at least he would die happy. 

With some fumbling they make it to the bed, Zayn on top. Zayn never pictured himself on top of Harry like this. He never pictured the way Harry’s hips are grinding into his, desperate for contact. He never pictured they’d do anything in this bed. “Zayn,” Harry suddenly breathes, “I want you to fuck me.” 

Zayn sits back, sitting on Harry’s torso. “We don’t have to do everything in one night, Harry. We have plenty of time.” And then an idea dawns on him. “Unless you only want tonight?” Zayn isn’t a stranger to straight guys who let you fuck them once and then never call again. He’s been hurt by them too many times to count. 

Harry sits up, hugging Zayn to his chest. With Zayn’s chin on his shoulder he rubs his back slowly and whispers. “No Zayn. Never. I want this just as much as you do. This isn’t a one night stand.” 

Zayn pulls back, to look Harry in the eyes. “Are you sure?” he asks. “Do you like guys?” 

Harry gives him the most direct eye contact Zayn has ever had and it scares the crap out of him to know someone can be so honest. “I like you,” Harry says. “I want to be with you.” 

Zayn nods, kissing him again. But Zayn doesn’t fuck him, not like that. He thinks thats its all too rushed and nothing is more meaningful than when you take your sweet time. So Zayn doesn’t fuck him, but he does give Harry the best blow job of his life. The entire time Harry was whispering things like ‘Zayn, oh god’, ‘Fuck’, and ‘Your mouth, its everything’. 

Harry is lying back on the bed, trying to recover when Zayn lies down next to him. “It’s my turn,” Harry says. 

"You don’t have to," Zayn tries to tell him. 

Harry furrows his brow and looks to him as if to say ‘just watch me’. “I want to, Zayn. But don’t laugh because I’ve never done this before.” 

Zayn smiles at bit at his nervousness but lets his hand tangle in Harry’s hair and he goes to Zayn’s dick. “I would never,” he tells him. 

Harry starts slowly, taking it into his mouth like he’s not sure if its too hot like coffee. He tries to mimic what Zayn did for him and then takes the whole thing into his mouth quickly. Harry gags as it hits the back of his throat and pulls back. Zayn catches his face in his hands and wipes away the tears that have formed in his eyes. “It’s okay,” he says. “Just take it slow.” Harry nods and continues. It takes a little advice from Zayn and maybe a little direction, but soon Harry has Zayn wiggling under him. He wants so badly to release, he just needs to let all of this built up sexual tension go. “Harry, pull back,” Zayn tells him as he’s close. But Harry doesn’t. Harry waits, pumping him a little quicker. Zayn cums, and to his shock Harry swallows it all. The boy then lets him go, crawling up Zayn’s body so he can hug him and kiss at his neck as Zayn comes down from his high. Zayn thinks his eyes just might roll back into his head. 

Harry is kissing at his neck when he whispers, “How did I do?” 

Zayn wraps one arm around him slowly, “You were amazing.” 

Harry smiles into Zayn’s neck. “You taste nice,” he says. 

That makes Zayn laugh, even though its a bit hard with Harry crushing his lungs. They fall asleep that way, laughing at the awkwardness of the first time and suddenly knowing each other’s bodies so well. 

When Zayn awakes the next morning he wonders if it was all a dream. Yesterday he had kissed Harry, more than once. Something he had wanted to do since he met him and saw those perfect, plump lips. And then they had sex and it was the best sex of his life. The things Harry whispered to him he wants tattooed all over his skin, in places that only he can see because he doesn’t want anyone but them to know. 

Zayn lets his head fall to the side and he looks to see that Harry is still there next to him. He’s fast asleep on his own pillow this time, but his feet still reach out and touch Zayn’s. His cold feet. “Harry,” Zayn whispers. Harry hums. Zayn smiles and reaches over, pulling at Harry’s shoulder so he’ll turn to lie on his back. Harry complies and Zayn thinks he’s beautiful. His eyes are still shut and his hair is matted in a funny way against his forehead, but that just adds to his beauty in Zayn’s eyes. Zayn lets his eyes drift over Harry’s tattoos and then presses him thumb to the giant heart. 

"Do you remember," Harry says, "you were so mad when I got that." 

Zayn smiles a bit, “Yeah, cause you copied me.” 

Harry opens his eyes then, as he flips over so he can lay on his side and watch Zayn from his pillow. “It was what you deserved for refusing to get matching tattoos with me,” he laughs. 

Zayn smiles. That’s just who Harry is. If you don’t give him what he wants, he’s likely to make it happen anyway- the reason they both have heart tattoos that were done at different times but look exactly the same. 

"Are you still mad?" Harry asks him, looking so young against the pillow with his hands tucked under his cheek like that. 

Zayn shakes his head against his pillow. “No, I’m not.” 

Harry smiles at him again, reaching a hand over so it can circle his wrist. 

They spend the greater part of the day like that, lying in bed together and reminiscing of the time they’ve spent as best friends. It’s around three o’ clock in the afternoon that they acknowledge the world outside of Zayn’s bedroom and check their phones. Zayn has a missed call from Louis. So he gives him a call back, setting the phone to speaker as he sets it down on the bed between them. 

"Hello?" Louis answers. 

"Hey Lou," Zayn replies. "It Harry and I," he adds quickly, so Louis won’t say anything too profound. 

"Both of you?" he asks. 

"You’re on speaker," Zayn tells him. 

"Oh, I see. So how do you like dick, Harry?" he asks. 

Zayn wants to die, jump of a bridge, anything to get away from this moment really. “Don’t answer that,” he tells Harry. “Its none of his business.” 

Harry gives Zayn a small smile. “No, its okay- that’s a fair question. He’s your best friend after all,” he says. “He’s just looking out for you.” 

"Observant one, isn’t he?" Louis asks. 

"Well I can’t speak universally," Harry tells Lou, "but I can say that I like Zayn’s dick very much." Harry laughs as he finds the words sound a bit odd in that formation. 

Zayn blushes at that as Louis laughs on the other line. “You hear that, Zayn?” he asks. 

"I’m right next to him," Zayn deadpans. 

"That’s another question I have, actually," Louis says. "How next to each other are we talking? Like, cuddling on the couch or perhaps naked in bed..?" 

"Naked in bed," Harry tells him. 

"Actually, we’re wearing underwear," Zayn laughs, joining in on the ridiculousness this conversation has turned into. 

"Just remember," Louis says. "Sex before marriage is sin." 

"Too late," Harry tells him with a cheeky grin. 

Zayn playfully slaps him. 

Louis is laughing on the other line. “Anyway, I called earlier to invite you- and Harry can come too if you want to bring him- to the promotional event my company is sponsoring tonight. Its this cool rooftop venue with a live band and everything.” 

Harry looks to Zayn and he nods approvingly. “When?” Zayn asks. 

"It’s at eight tonight, I’l text you the rest of the details." 

Zayn asks that he does and they end the call. 

"Well we’ve got a few hours until then," Harry flirts. "I wonder what we can do to pass the time." He scoots away from the headboard he was leaning on and nearly sits in Zayn’s lap as he moves to kiss him. Zayn kisses him back, letting out a soft sigh as Harry moves to suck on his neck. 

"Zayn?" they hear a voice. 

Zayn quickly detangles himself from Harry and goes to shut the bedroom door. “Who is it?” he calls. 

"It’s just me. Niall." 

"Uh, just give me a second- I have to change." Zayn panics as he looks back to Harry. "Shit," he whispers, "what are we going to do?" 

Harry furrows his brow and he looks a little hurt. 

"What?" Zayn asks. He doesn’t understand why Harry is making that face. He goes back over to him after locking the door and takes his face in his hands. "What did I say?" he asks. 

"You said ‘what are we going to do’ as if we should have to hide what happened between us. I don’t care if Niall knows." He pauses a minute. "Do you?" 

Zayn sighs, running his hand threw his hair as he lets Harry go and sits down next to him. He’s so used to hiding things from his friends, mainly because they didn’t need to know everything that went on with him, but Harry is right- why hide it? “No,” Zayn says. “I don’t care that he knows. I want him to know. If that’s what you want too?” 

Harry nods and kisses him again. They get dressed quickly before they head out to the living room to find Niall sitting on the couch, browsing twitter on his phone. 

"Sorry," Zayn says as he tries to sound the most nonchalant he can, "we hadn’t gotten out of bed yet." 

Harry is slightly impressed with how Zayn handles it. Zayn goes into the kitchen then to turn the kettle on and leaves Harry and Niall alone. Niall notices the love bite on Harry’s collar bone. 

"You spent the night?" Niall asks Harry. 

Harry nods, as if its the most normal thing. Well he’s spent the night plenty of times before, Niall just isn’t aware of that. 

"Is there something going on between you two?" he asks. 

Harry shrugs and can’t seem to hide the little smile that forms on his lips. Niall smiles too. “Wow,” he says. “I mean, this is what I’ve always thought was going to happen, but now to hear its actually happening.. crazy.” 

They share a laugh as Harry takes a seat next to him and hugs him. 

They head over to Louis’ event with Niall, ready to have a fun night and enjoy the open bar. Only, Zayn thinks he can’t really enjoy the night when he sees who’s working the event. Cara. 

When Harry is in the bathroom Zayn goes over to Louis and catches his arm. 

"There you are," Louis smiles. "Are you guys having a good time?" 

"I was having a good time,” Zayn tells him. “But then I saw that she’s here.” 

"Who?" Louis asks as Niall joins them. 

"Cara, that’s who," Zayn sighs. 

Niall watches as she walks past with a tray of drinks and a skimpy halter top. Zayn thinks that if Harry is suddenly going to change his mind about him and boys in general, well this isn’t helping the situation. 

"Zayn," Louis says as he places his hands on Zayn’s shoulder, "that bitch is so basic." 

Niall can’t help but laugh at that, like he does with most things Louis says. 

"What if he wants her?" Zayn asks them. 

"You didn’t see the way he was looking at you last night," Louis tells him. 

"Or how he looked this morning when he was talking about you and him," Niall adds. 

Zayn sighs. He wants to believe them but there is still a doubt in his mind because he’s no stranger to the straight boys that like him only when its convenient. And since Harry hasn’t told him yet, he doesn’t assume that he’s anything but straight with some feelings for him here and there. 

Harry joins them then, grinning as he has two more martinis with him. He hands one to Zayn and looks at the other two. “What’s with the pow wow?” he asks. 

"Nothing," Louis tells him. "Tell me," he says, "are you gay or what?" 

Zayn wants to kick Louis. He’s always like this, saying things Zayn can’t. Things that could get him into a lot of trouble. 

"We talked about this this morning," Harry frowns. "I can’t really say. I’ve only been with Zayn. And I liked that," he pauses to smile at Zayn, "but I don’t know if that means I’m gay." 

"You aren’t planning on testing it out with a few other guys, are you?" Niall asks him. "Because Zayn is not some expendable boy toy," he tells him. "And you’re very lucky because I haven’t met a gay man that doesn’t want him." 

Zayn sighs because he knows Niall has had too much champagne. 

"No, I don’t plan to test it out," Harry claims. "I just don’t know yet. Why are you people so incessant on knowing before I do? I like Zayn," he tells him. "I’m not going to hurt your best friend Niall, because he’s my best friend too." 

Zayn smiles as he watches Louis and Niall soften at that statement. Harry is too fricken cute at that moment. He places a hand on Harry’s cheek and turns his face to his, kissing him slowly. Harry is quick to yearn for more, nearly engulfing Zayn in an embrace so tight he thinks he might pass out. 

It’s a little while later and Zayn has taken a seat at the table Niall got them spots at. He’s watching the crowd enjoy the live band and wondering how Louis got such a sweet gig as a job. Niall, next to him, is texting away- to some girl, Jade Zayn thinks her name is. 

When he looks up again he notices her. She’s standing at the edge of the crowd and he can see that she’s looking at him. Looking at him the way Zayn looks at him, like he wants him. Bad. It takes all of Zayn’s effort not to go over to her, throw the tray she has in her hand, and tell her that Harry is his and that she should really stop looking at him like that. He wants to tell her that she has no chance, because she lost hers. But Zayn can’t do that because as big as his talk his, his game never really matched. He doesn’t do confrontation well. 

"She’s looking at him," Zayn says. 

Niall looks up from his phone and scans the crowd for her. “Whore,” he comments with a nod. 

"What do I do?" Zayn asks him. 

Niall shrugs, he isn’t the best with advice either. “Maybe you should go dance with Harry. Show her that he’s yours now.” 

"But he’s not mine," Zayn says. 

"Well he’s more yours than he was ever hers," Niall tells him. 

Zayn sighs. 

Just then she starts moving, threw the crowd and over to him. It makes Zayn clench his hands into fists under the table. He can’t bear the idea of Harry wanting her back. 

"Harry," she says when she reaches him and Louis. "Hey." 

Harry, drink in his hand as he sways to the music, furrows his brow. It takes him a minute to recognize her with the eccentric event makeup. “Oh, Cara.” 

She smiles at him, “I didn’t know you were coming tonight.” 

Harry pats Louis on the shoulder. “Yeah,” he says. “My good friend Louis here helped to organize this whole thing.” 

Louis smiles at her but its more bitchy than anything. 

"Do you think we could talk?" she asks. "Maybe later tonight?" 

Louis looks to Harry before looking back to her. He’s about to open his mouth to tell her she has no chance but Harry speaks first. 

"Cara," he says over the music. "I’m sorry but I’m not interested." 

She steps back, like the comment physically hit her. “Why not?” she asks. 

"Maybe its that he’s over playing games with a wanna be model like you," Louis says. 

Harry looks to him and wonders how Louis knows that. He decides that Zayn might have told him more than he let on. 

"You don’t even know me," Cara tells him, crossing her arms. "And I asked Harry, not you." 

"Go on Harry," Louis says. "Tell her." 

Harry looks between them as he lets out a breath. “I met someone else,” he says. 

"Him?" Cara questions as she points to Louis. 

Harry smirks at that and it earns a laugh from Louis too. “No,” Harry tells her. He then moves so he can get a better view. “Him,” he says as he points to Zayn. 

Zayn, having already been staring that way, is surprised to see Harry pointing at him. He feels his face redden as he’s not sure what to do. 

"I always thought you were gay," she scoffs. 

"Gay isn’t an insult," Louis tells her before turning to go. "Hoe."

Harry laughs as Louis pulls him along with him, at the priceless face Cara is making. 

When they get back to the table, Zayn stands up. “What happened?” he asks. 

"That hoe was trying to hit on Harry," Louis says with an eye roll. "I’m actually kind of proud," he adds. "Harry had this sassy thing going on when he told her off." 

Zayn looks to Harry and cocks an eyebrow. Harry laughs and hugs him, resting his chin on Zayn’s shoulder. “Let’s get out of here,” he says. 

When they get back to Zayn’s, Louis and Niall take to the couch to finish the bottle of wine Zayn had left out on the coffee table. 

"Hey Niall, you sure you’re not gay?" Louis asks with a smirk. 

"I knew you always wanted to fuck me," Niall jokes. 

Harry can’t stop laughing as he’s trying to get his shoes off. 

"How many martinis did you let him have?" Zayn asks Louis. 

"I wasn’t counting," Louis tells him, "and obviously neither was he." Louis eyes Harry as he giggles and tries to take his phone of his jean pocket. 

"Do you guys want to stay over?" Zayn asks Niall and Louis. "I can get the spare blankets." 

"Depends," Niall says, "how thick are your walls?" 

Zayn rolls his eyes at his joke. 

"No worries Niall," Louis comments. "Harry’s too buzzed." 

"I don’t know why I deal with you idiots," Zayn says with an eye roll. He goes to get the blankets and comes back to see Niall and Louis laughing as Harry struggles with the zipper on his pants. Zayn throws the blankets onto the couch before he grabs Harry’s arm. 

"Come on," Zayn says as he pulls him along to the bedroom. "Goodnight," he tells the other two. 

"Goodnight," Louis and Niall reply. 

Once they’re in his bedroom Zayn sits Harry down on his bed. 

"I had a lot of fun tonight," Harry slurs with a goofy smile. 

"I’m glad," Zayn tells him as he pulls at his jacket and then his t shirt. 

"You always take care of me," Harry smiles as he puts his hands in Zayn’s hair. 

Zayn looks up at him from where he’s kneeled down to unbutton Harry’s jeans. 

"Even before," Harry says. "when we first met. It’s like you’ve always been looking out for me." 

Zayn wants to tell him its because he’s younger, and so trusting that it scares him sometimes. 

Zayn gets his jeans undone and then tells Harry to lie back so he can tug them off. Harry laughs as Zayn does, his underwear going with them. He struggles to pull them up with his drunken coordination. Zayn laughs too, once they’re finally off and laying on the ground next to his feet. Harry hasn’t gotten his shirt off but crawls into bed anyway, reaching out for Zayn once he’s under the covers. 

"Hold on," Zayn tells him. "I’m gonna get you a glass of water." 

Zayn goes out to the kitchen to get the water and spots Niall and Louis. He’s shocked to see that they’re cuddled up on the couch, having fallen asleep like that. He hurries to get the water quietly so he won’t wake them. When he gets back to his room, Harry has pushed some of the covers away and is lying on his side, facing the door. 

"You need to drink this," Zayn tells him as he sits down on the bed. 

Harry sits up and takes the glass. He takes a few gulps before handing it back to Zayn. “Thank you,” he says. 

Zayn smiles at him before tugging off his shirt and getting into bed too. Harry immediately moves over and cuddles up to him. 

"You always smell so nice," Harry tells him, lips against his neck. 

Zayn smiles. “You smell a bit like alcohol and vanilla,” he jokes. 

Harry pretends to be offended as he scoffs. Zayn just smoothes his hair and hugs around him with his free arm. 

"Harry," he says. "what did you say to Cara tonight?" 

"I told her I met someone else," he replies. 

"And she was angry?" Zayn asks. 

Harry nods against him. Then he laughs, “I remember Louis called her a hoe. To her face.” 

Zayn smiles a bit at that. He knew Louis wasn’t useless. “So,” he says timidly, “there’s nothing there anymore?” 

Harry sits up a bit, so he can look Zayn in the eye. “Were you worried there was?” he asks. 

Zayn shrugs a little, feeling vulnerable. 

"You have nothing to be worried about," Harry tells him. "I really like you," he says as he nearly lays on top of Zayn so he can hug him. 

"How much?" Zayn asks, struggling to breath. 

Harry laughs and kisses at the tattoo across his collar bone. “So much that it scares me,” he says. Then he’s quiet a moment, because that was really honest and he’s not sure why he said it, because he doesn’t want to mess this up. 

Harry pulls away and sits up. “Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to say that.” 

"Why?" Zayn asks, sitting up too. 

"Because you make me nervous," Harry tells him, his face growing red. "You were here all along and I’ve just noticed it. You make me notice things I haven’t before and when you touch me it’s like I’m really being touched- like everything before this wasn’t real." He sighs. "Do you understand?" 

Zayn nods quickly. He understand perfectly. He feels the same. But he doesn’t tell Harry that, because words don’t always suit him in situations like these, so he shows him instead. He takes Harry’s face in his hands and kisses him softly, trying to show him with feeling and emotion, because its how he can get his message across best. And as he leans back, and Harry is smiling, he knows he understands. 

The next morning they awake to pounding at the door. Zayn is suddenly so happy he remembered to lock it. 

"Harry, Zayn." It’s Niall. "I’m starving and I think Louis just might burn the place down if you don’t get out here and help him." 

Zayn grunts as they hear Louis whisper. “They’re probably having a bit of morning sex.” 

Zayn turns his head slightly, to question Harry. “What time is it?” 

Harry opens his eyes and looks to the alarm clock next to him. “Eight thirty,” he grumbles. 

Zayn sighs against the pillow. He’s still so tired. But he sits up, because he’d rather not have his apartment building burn down. Harry is lying next to him, facing away from him, and struggling to cover his ears with the blankets. Zayn gets out of bed and tugs his sweat pants on.


	3. Zaynsexual

"Where are you going?" Harry asks him. 

"I have to make sure Louis doesn’t burn the place down," Zayn says. 

Harry sighs and sits up. He rubs at his eyes a minute, before he chugs the rest of the water that’s been sitting on the bed side table. 

Zayn furrows his brow then. He tires to remember what they had talked about last night. This all makes Harry a bit scared, he remembers. So he goes over to him and hugs him tight. Harry is slow to reciprocate, being confused and still sleepy. He falls back on the bed when he does and pulls Zayn with him. He leaves a kiss on Zayn’s temple. “Do you remember what I told you last night?” he asks. 

Zayn nods against him. “I do,” he says. “I do and I want you to know that I’m scared too.” 

Harry pulls away so he can look at Zayn’s face. “But,” Zayn adds, “I’m not planning on running away from this. I need to face my fears when it comes to you.” 

"You really need to write books," Harry jokes with a smile. 

Zayn laughs as he playfully pushes him away. 

They leave Zayn’s room a few minutes later, after finding some clothes, and a few lazy morning kisses. 

"Oh thank God," Niall sighs as he spots them in the archway that leads to the kitchen. Harry is holding onto Zayn’s arm and has his chin resting on Zayn’s shoulder. 

"Please don’t burn anything," Zayn tells them. 

Louis turns from the stove. “Niall is just overreacting. I can cook just fine.” 

Niall’s eyes look a bit wide and scared. “A minute ago there was a flame.” 

Zayn cringes. Harry lets him go to take over the pan Louis has on the stove. Zayn looks back to Niall and asks him if he wants tea.

"Can I talk to you?" Niall whispers to him. 

Zayn looks to him and furrows his brow. It’s unusual for Niall to make such a request, to talk in private, because he’s always so open about everything. Zayn nods and they go out to the living room together. 

"Zayn," Niall whispers as they take a seat on the couch. "this morning I woke up and Louis was spooning me." 

Zayn smiles at that. “What else is new?” he jokes. “Louis would spoon anyone or anything.” 

"Yeah," Niall lowers his voice even more, "but he had a hard on." 

Zayn raises a brow. “Well, that’s interesting.” 

"Does he fancy me?" Niall asks. 

Zayn wonders about that. “I’m not sure, Niall,” he says. “It’s possible it was just a dream or something. I’ve woken up with a boner before too.” 

Niall nods as he bites his lip. “What if I wanted it to be because of me?” 

Zayn raises his brows. “Really?” 

Niall shrugs. “Seeing what happened between you and Harry makes me kind of question my sexuality too. I want to test out being with a guy.” 

"Okay," Zayn nods. "But Louis isn’t a test object." 

Niall nods too. “Don’t worry, I know.” 

Harry calls for Zayn then and Zayn turns, wanting to go. Niall tells him to go and that he’ll be fine. When Zayn joins Louis and Harry in the kitchen he sees that Harry has laid out plates for everyone. “Wow,” he smiles. 

"He’s a good house wife," Louis smirks. 

"Shut up," Zayn tells him. 

Harry laughs as Louis scowls at him. 

After breakfast Louis and Niall both depart, having to get things done before they meet up at the bar tonight. Zayn walks them out and as he returns to his apartment he finds Harry waiting for him on the couch. 

"I thought they would never leave," Harry says as he gets up and comes over to him. He shuts the door and pushes Zayn against it, attacking his mouth. 

Zayn hungrily kisses him back as he slips his hands inside Harry’s shirt. Harry breaks their kiss then, taking a step back. He takes Zayn’s hands in his and pulls him over to the couch, falling back onto it. Zayn falls on top of him and they kiss again, smiling into it. 

"Your lips," Harry mumbles as they break the kiss to get their shirts off.

Zayn smiles and kisses him again. “What about them?” he asks with a smile.

"Perfection," Harry sighs. Harry’s hands go to Zayn’s sweat pants and he pushes them down over his hips, revealing Zayn’s bare ass as he isn’t wearing underwear. "How convenient," Harry laughs. 

"Hey," Zayn smirks. "you weren’t the only one planning ahead." 

Zayn reaches under Harry and pulls his sweats down too, to his mid thigh. It’s all so hot and rushed, so needy for skin on skin. 

"Are you gonna fuck me?" Harry asks, his voice hot and heavy. "I need it, Zayn." 

Zayn bites his lip. He wouldn’t like anything more in that moment. “Okay,” he agrees. “But you won’t like it like this. We need lube.” Zayn wants to get up to get some but Harry pulls him back. Zayn watches him with a furrowed brow. 

Harry spits in his palm and uses his hand to spread it over Zayn’s dick. Zayn grunts at the sensation. 

"There," Harry says. "Now give it to me." 

Zayn kisses him once more before he lets himself slowly enter Harry. Harry gasps at the sensation, his eyes shutting down tight. Zayn kisses his cheek sweetly, “Are you alright?” 

Harry nods slowly. “Give me a minute,” he breathes. 

Zayn waits, watching his face and his balled up fists. He’s so beautiful. 

Harry nods again, moving his hips slowly. Zayn pulls out and then pushes back in, causing another gasp from Harry. “Oh god,” Harry grunts. 

"Harry, we don’t have to do this," Zayn tries to tell him. 

"No, don’t stop now." Harry says. He grabs Zayn’s shoulders. "Go on." 

Zayn bites his lips as he starts thrusting. First Harry’s breath is all over the place, grunting and sighing, and then he quiets down. Zayn kisses his neck, “Everything alright?” he asks. 

"I don’t feel it," Harry tells him. "The prostate?" he questions. 

"Let’s get you on top," Zayn tells him. 

Harry nods and they detach a moment to switch places. Harry straddles Zayn’s hips as he sits on top of him. “Go on,” Zayn tells him. “You control the pace.” 

Harry nods and guides Zayn back into him. He moves slowly at first and then speeds up, Zayn thrusting with the rhythm he has created. Harry is moaning now, completely bent over so his chest is against Zayn’s. Zayn is struggling to control his own breath as he rakes his fingernails up and down Harry’s back. 

Harry lets out a long moan and its unexpected as he cums between them, up their chests. He gasping so loud that Zayn can only sit still and let him move his hips as he needs to to ride it out. Harry clutches for his arms, hair, anything really. 

"Oh my god," he says as he lets himself collapse on Zayn. Zayn smooths his hair with his hand. "Zayn, that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had." 

Zayn smiles as he kisses the top of Harry’s head. He gasps as Harry grabs for his dick. “Do you want me to use my mouth or my hand?” Harry asks him. 

"That," Zayn says. "Keep doing that." 

Harry nods and kisses at his neck as he pumps him. It doesn’t take long before Zayn is cumming too. He grunts as he spills out on his chest. Then he sighs and lets his head fall back against the couch. 

They lay there for a minute, letting their heart rates fall back to normal. Harry is listening to Zayn’s heart in his chest. Zayn looks to the clock. 

"Let’s shower before we have to meet Niall and Louis," Zayn suggests. 

"Yeah," Harry agrees. But before he gets up he sits up, straddling Zayn again as he leans down to kiss him. He slips his tongue into Zayn’s mouth and gets his ass grabbed as Zayn bites at his lips. 

"I wish we had been doing this all along," Harry tells him when they break the kiss. He’s looking into Zayn’s chocolate eyes and thinking about how much he wants to say something he probably shouldn’t. 

Zayn smiles sweetly. “It wouldn’t be the same,” he says. “At least, I don’t think it would be.” 

"I just regret lost time," Harry tells him, circling the kiss tattoo on Zayn’s chest with his thumb. 

Zayn grabs the back of his neck and pulls him into a kiss again. 

It takes a while, but they finally make it into the shower where Harry admits he’s never showered with anyone before. 

"Not even after lazy morning sex?" Zayn asks him as he massages the shampoo into Harry’s scalp. 

"No," Harry says. "I think it was too intimate. I couldn’t possibly have understood that with a girl. Or anyone I’ve been involved with, really. I mean, sex is intimate too. But this just feels different." 

Zayn kisses at his shoulder as the water washes down Harry’s back. 

"It’s different with you, Zayn," Harry goes on. "I feel like we’re connected on so many levels, not just a physical one." 

Zayn nods as he pulls back and looks him in the eye. “Me too.” 

"I really love being with you like this. In this new level of intimacy," Harry says as he pulls Zayn into his chest and holds him there. "You get me." 

Zayn smiles as his head is against Harry’s chest. “I’m really happy,” he says. 

"Me too," Harry smiles. 

They hear as Zayn’s phone is ringing in the bedroom. “That’s probably Louis,” Zayn says. “We better hurry up.” 

Harry nods and grabs the body wash from the shelf. He rubs it over Zayn’s chest and shoulders when he suddenly thinks of that morning. “Zayn, why did you and Niall disappear this morning?” 

Zayn washes the shampoo out of his hair and closes his eyes. “Niall told me he wants to try out being with a guy,” he tells Harry. 

Harry stops washing under his arms to furrow his brow. “Niall isn’t gay.” 

Zayn shrugs, “From what he was saying I think its possible he has a crush on Lou.” 

Harry is so confused. “Is this because of you and I?” he asks. 

Zayn washes the soap away from his eyes before he looks to Harry. “Possibly,” he says. “I mean, you could have inspired him. But I don’t think Niall likes dick.” 

Harry nods. 

They meet Niall and Louis at the bar because Harry and Zayn take too long to get ready. When they arrive Zayn spots them first, at the bar, talking and having a drink. 

"Hey, didn’t think you guys were going to show," Niall tells them. 

"Let me guess," Louis adds. "Shower sex?" 

Harry shakes his head. “No, actually.” 

"Zayn," Louis scolds. "There’s something wrong with this picture." 

Zayn rolls his eyes at him. “When did you guys get here?” 

"Like, twenty minutes ago?" Louis questions as he looks at Niall. "You guys really haven’t missed anything." 

Zayn nods. 

"Oh," Louis remembers. "Funny story, actually. Liam’s here." 

Zayn looks around quickly. 

"Who’s Liam?" Harry asks them. 

"Liam is this guy I used to have a thing with," Zayn tells him honestly. 

Harry tries not to let his face show his jealousy. 

"You remember, right?" Zayn asks him. "It was around the time you were dating that girl Emily." 

Harry nods and doesn’t say anything. 

"Don’t look so sad," Louis laughs. "Liam is not worth anyone’s time." 

"Louis would know," Zayn agrees. "Considering the night after I called it off, Louis slept with him." 

"You forgave me for that," Louis pouts. 

"I was just informing him," Zayn insists. "Anyway," he says. "Can I buy you a drink, Harry?" 

Harry nods and goes with him to the other end of the bar. As they lean against the bar together Harry leans over and kisses Zayn. Zayn smiles into his lips when he pulls back. “Are you jealous?” he asks, loud enough only for Harry to hear. 

"No," Harry lies. But Zayn smiles before he takes a sip of his rum and coke. Harry takes a sip of his drink too. "Would it be so surprising if I was?" he asks. 

"No," Zayn tells him. "You have good reason." 

Harry lets his hand rest on top of Zayn’s on the bar top. Zayn flips his hand over so he’s cupping Harry’s hand with his own. “Good,” Harry nods with a proud smile. “Where is this guy anyway?” 

Zayn takes a look around. He spots Liam near the pool table. He gestures with a nod of his head. “Hat backwards, baggy jeans, and Burberry t- shirt,” he explains. 

Harry turns to look and spots him immediately. “Is he even your type?” he asks, the annoyance evident. 

"Is his name Harry Styles?" Zayn asks. 

Harry looks back to him and his cheeks are a soft shade of red, like his lips. He grips Zayn’s hand a little tighter. “Idiot,” he smiles goofy. “Answer the question.” 

Zayn looks back to Liam and wonders what he saw in him. Maybe he was too blinded by all the rhinestones and didn’t see that he was really more self obsessed than anything else. “I don’t know,” Zayn tells Harry. “Maybe I was into guys like him back then. But tastes can change. Now I’m into you, and you wear your jeans tighter than any girl I’ve ever seen.” But then again Zayn knows he has always been into Harry and he’s mostly just teasing.

Harry takes the chance to pinch his hand now, causing a yelp from Zayn and a laugh from him. “You’re jeans are pretty damn tight too,” Harry tells him. 

"You rubbed off on me," Zayn tells him with a smirk. 

It’s a little while later that Harry and Zayn have joined Niall and Louis on the small dance floor in front of the stage. They’re swaying to the music slowly, Zayn’s hands on Harry’s ass, when Harry notices him. Liam is coming towards them. Harry pulls back to warn Zayn but it’s too late. Liam puts a hand on Zayn’s shoulder. 

Zayn turns and his brow furrows. 

"Hey Zayn," Liam smiles. 

"Hey," Zayn tells him. "What’s going on?" 

Liam shrugs, sipping his drink flirtatiously. “You wanna head out for a smoke with me?” 

"I don’t smoke anymore," Zayn tells him. 

Liam pouts. 

"This is Harry," Zayn says, making sure its evident that Harry is holding onto his hand. 

"Oh, I see," Liam smirks. "You his new fuck buddy?" he asks Harry. 

I’m the one that’s here to say, Harry wants to tell him. “I think you should fuck off,” he says instead. 

"He’ll never date you," Liam says. "Zayn’s a tease." 

Zayn furrows his brow in confusion. Liam didn’t want to date him, not the other way around. He turns his back to him and pulls Harry deeper into the crowd. “Fuck him,” he tells Harry. 

When Zayn turns back to him Harry can see Liam’s words bother him. “Zayn you’re right. Fuck him. Who cares about that guy?” 

Zayn nods slowly, hugging Harry’s shoulders. 

"I don’t believe a word he said because I know you. I know you so much better than he does. Than anyone does." 

Zayn nods against him. Harry is right. He knows him. Really knows him. It was all those late nights spent talking and passionate conversations about what they really want in life, what makes them happiest. 

As Zayn’s chin is resting on his shoulder, Harry looks over the crowd. He rubs his hand lightly up and down Zayn’s back. He notices Niall and Louis at the bar, and he’s not sure, but it looks like they’re kissing. He watches as Niall pulls Louis’ hand and is leading him over to the bathrooms. 

"Zayn," he says. "I just saw Niall pull Louis into the bathrooms." 

Zayn pulls away to have a look for himself, but they’re long gone now. “No,” Zayn says. “That’s a disaster waiting to happen.” 

He lets Harry go as he goes to the bathroom himself, Harry struggling to keep up. When they get into the bathroom they can hear what sounds like laughing and groping. Zayn pounds on the stall. 

"It’s taken," Louis tells him. 

"It’s me," Zayn says. "Open the fucking door." 

Louis opens it slowly and he and Harry can see his shirt is slightly crumpled, and his jeans unzipped. 

"What are you doing?" Zayn asks them. 

"What the fuck does it look like?" Louis asks as he gestures to his zipper. 

"Are you sure about this?" Zayn asks, eyeing Niall. 

"It’s just sex, Zayn. And this is none of your business," Niall tells him. 

"He’s right, it doesn’t concern you," Louis tells him. 

"My best friends don’t concern me?" Zayn questions. 

"I didn’t say anything when you were fucking him," Louis claims as he gestures to Harry. 

"That’s different," Zayn tells him. Because I’ve always loved him and you know that, he wants to add. 

"Same shit, different day," Louis says before shutting the stall. 

"Come on Zayn," Harry says as he pulls his arm lightly. Zayn nods and goes with him. 

When they get out to the street, Harry stays quiet, knowing that Zayn is up in his head right now. He slowly takes his hand in his, however. Zayn gives it a squeeze. 

"Are you alright?" Harry asks. 

"I’m just angry because he knows what he’s doing is going to hurt him," Zayn sighs. "And you don’t know this, but for years he told me how dangerous it was to fall for you. A gay guy wanting a straight guy would never work out- he told me that, and now look at him." 

Harry nods slowly. “He’ll realize Zayn. He will.” 

"By then it’ll be too late. Niall doesn’t want him, Harry. He never will." Zayn sighs and presses his palm to his forehead. 

Harry frowns and lets Zayn’s hand go to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Can I say something really honest right now?” Harry asks. 

Zayn turns his head to look at him. He waits. 

"I love you," Harry smiles at him. 

Zayn smiles too, as he makes direct eye contact with him. 

"I know it might be too soon to say, and I don’t want to seem clingy and mess this up- but I really do, Zayn. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted." Harry’s cheeks are a light pink as he bites his lip nervously. 

"I’ve always loved you," Zayn admits, causing Harry to smile greatly. 

Harry stops walking so he can throw his arms around Zayn. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says over his shoulder. “I don’t want you to worry about that.” 

Zayn nods. “I won’t, I promise Harry.” 

When they get back to Zayn’s apartment they get into bed and lay there, cuddling and not speaking, just enjoying the warmth of each other. 

"I’m gay, aren’t I?" Harry asks to break the silence. 

"You’re bisexual," Zayn tells him. "You can like both."

Harry nods against his chest. “Okay, that makes sense. But I don’t want anyone else, you know that.” 

"Okay, so you’re Zaynsexual," Zayn jokes. 

"I am," Harry smiles before leaving a kiss on Zayn’s chest. 

It’s a few weeks later that Zayn finally calls Louis. He was waiting for Louis to call him but he feels that he has waited too long. He hears the dial tone and waits. He’s confused as he hears a phone go off in the hall just outside his door. There’s a knock. 

Zayn opens the door to find Louis. He looks like he’s been crying. Louis stumbles in and throws his arms around Zayn immediately. Zayn feels the shoulder of his t-shirt become wet. 

"Louis, are you alright?" he asks, pushing the door shut. 

Louis stuggles to catch a breath between his sobs. “I’m angry and I’m upset and it’s taking everything in me not to find Niall and punch him in his stupid, cute face.” 

Zayn frowns and rubs his hand up and down Louis’ back. “I’m sorry,” he says. 

"You were right about what would happen. I know you never said it, but I know you were thinking about the straight guy curse," Louis tells him as he pulls back. Louis detaches himself from Zayn and takes a seat on the couch. "Wait, what is all this?" he asks as he looks to the boxes on the floor. 

"Harry is moving in," Zayn tells him. 

Louis raises his brow. “So soon?” he asks. 

"Is it really though?" Zayn asks. "We’ve known each other for two years, and he sleeps over here all the time." 

Louis shrugs. “You’re right. And doesn’t he hate his roommates?” 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, he has for a while.” 

"Well I’m happy for you," Louis tells him. "Really." 

Zayn gives him a small smile before sitting down. “So what happened with Niall?” 

"I gave him a blow job in that toilet stall," Louis admits. "when you warned me not too." Zayn nods. "And then I tried calling him the next day and he never answered. Then we hung out a few days later and had sex again, and then he stopped calling again. Now he doesn’t even answer a text." 

Zayn shakes his head. Its what he knew would happen. Its what had happened to him with so many guys. “Sorry Lou,” he frowns. 

Louis shrugs. “Its my fault. I should have seen this coming. You haven’t talked to Niall, have you?” 

"Haven’t heard from him," Zayn tells him. 

Louis rolls his eyes. 

There’s a knock at the door then and Zayn gets up to answer it. Harry smiles, big and goofy. “This is the last one,” he says as he sets the box down before hugging Zayn like he hadn’t seen him in hours. 

Zayn hugs him back, smiling over his shoulder. “Now you just have to unpack them all,” he laughs. 

Harry pulls back as he see Louis on the couch. “Hey Lou,” he says. “Haven’t seen you in a while.” 

Louis nods. “Sorry, I’ve been busy getting my heart stomped on.” 

Harry frowns and lets Zayn go so he can go over and hug Louis. “I’m sorry Niall hurt you,” he says. 

Louis nods, “Thanks.” 

Harry pulls back and gives his shoulder a light squeeze before taking off the duffle bag thats hanging off his shoulder and taking it into the bedroom. 

"Can I get you a cup of tea?" Zayn asks Louis. 

Louis nods, “Sure.” 

The three of them spend the afternoon catching up and taking about future plans. Louis thinks its nice to be with people who actually care about him. 

It gets late and they’ve all nearly fallen asleep on the couches, Harry nearly crushing Zayn’s lap as he sits on him like a golden retriever who thinks he’s a lap dog. Louis cell phone rings and Harry startles awake, wiping away the drool that has formed on the corner of his mouth. Zayn groans at the unexpected jolt. 

Louis raises the phone to his ear slowly before he answers. Its quiet a minute as he listens. Its Niall. 

When Louis lets his arm and phone fall back to the couch he looks to Harry and Zayn with heavy eyes. 

"What?" Zayn asks. 

"It was Niall. His grandmother passed." 

The next day Zayn, Harry and Louis go to the funeral. They spot Niall standing at the grave with his family, struggling not to cry. Louis looks nervous to see him. 

"You guys came," Niall tries to smile as he comes over to them. 

They nod as Niall looks to Louis. “Lou I’m so sorry,” he cries, grabbing him and hugging him roughly. 

"It’s alright," Louis says as he lets a hand rest on Niall’s back. 

Harry clutches Zayn’s hand a bit tighter in his. He hates funerals and he hates crying. But he is glad that Louis can find it in himself to forgive Niall. 

They stay at the funeral with Niall and his family as long as they can bear too. Harry makes polite conversation with everyone and insists on making them smile at least once. He’s just started chatting with Niall’s dad when Zayn finds him and rests a hand on his shoulder. 

Harry looks to him and furrows his brow. “Are you ready to go?” Zayn asks. 

Harry says a quick goodbye and gets up to go with Zayn. “Was everything alright?” 

Zayn nods as they get out to the sidewalk. “Louis and Niall seem like they’ll be okay. Louis still looks hurt, but that just takes time.” 

Harry nods as he slips his arm around Zayn. “I can only imagine how you felt thinking I would leave you after just one night, if it had turned out I was straight and it had been a mistake.” 

"That was probably the scariest thing of my life," Zayn admits. "but I’m glad I stuck it out and I’m glad you didn’t leave." 

"I would never leave you," Harry tells him sweetly. 

Zayn nods with a smile. “You can’t, you don’t even have your own place anymore.”

"Shut up," Harry says as he playfully pushes at Zayn’s chest. "You always ruin it." 

"Ruin what?" Zayn asks.

"When I’m trying to be romantic," Harry pouts.

Zayn catches his arms and pins them down to his sides. “Sorry, you’re right,” he says. “Go on, tell me how you can’t live without me,” he adds. “I’ll be you’re Juliet.” 

“I want to be Juliet,” Harry frowns. 

That makes Zayn laugh harder than he has in a while. “Fine, but I don’t know either of their lines.” 

Harry rolls his eyes. “I figured as much,” he jokes. 

"But I love you," Zayn says. 

They stop, all playing aside, as Harry registers what Zayn has said. “I love you too Romeo,” Harry smiles before taking his face in his hands and kissing him. 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment with how you liked it! :)


End file.
